We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
