; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
