I'm sorry my penis didn't work
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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