I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
