We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
