I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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