we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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