yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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