You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
