I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
if only i could text you this smell
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
