No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
