my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
