Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
