They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
