He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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