Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
