I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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