Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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