After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Randomize
