on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
