you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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