Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
