It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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