i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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