from now on my penis is your penis
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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