i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I know her cup size but not her name....
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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