Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
