***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I pour the whiskey from now on
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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