so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
