I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
