After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
