My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
