I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize