I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize