yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize