Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
