I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
how does that bad decision feel?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
