i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
