as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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