Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
