There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
