He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
