8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
