she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
