I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
