Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
