you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
