just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He shit in the fireplace
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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