what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
