I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
