No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
