Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
