You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
