it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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