Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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