I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
