My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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