We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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