dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
