I want to make a zoo with you.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
