sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize